could be anything. might be nothing. might make you think. could make you wish I would stop.
breathe people...everything is easier when you breathe!

10.16.2011

in God we trust

"Just another testament to the power of prayer."
This said as the last word in a story about a precious birth.
sigh.
I still don't get it.

When someone says something like this I always have to think about how unfair it is for all those people who have lousy births because they didn't pray enough.
That thought always feels evil to me.

If you have read any of my past musings you know that I am having some rethinking in the faith/church/prayer/God department.
By this I mean: everything I ever thought about any of that is now being re-thunk.
ya follow?

Prayer is a huge re-think for me. I am actually to the point that I can no longer say "I will pray for you". I tell ya, that feels really strange.
I am not going into all this again. (did I just hear a big PTL?)

I just wanted to tell you my new phrase.
I shall tell it in a short story.

Last night an ambulance pulled up in front of my neighbors house. Her sweetie was taken to the hospital. His health is precarious on a good day. Today it was even worse. She was shaking and headed to her car to follow the ambulance. I told her to call me if she needed anything. As she drove off I felt bad that I did not say "I will pray for you". I could have. But I didn't.

Later I took that up with God.
(Here you might say I prayed...I will say I talked/communed/hung out)
I didn't ask God to make John better. I didn't ask Him to guide the doctor's hands. I didn't ask Him to give peace to Pat. In my "prayer" I just sat with Papa God and loved on John and Pat.
I took a few minutes to think about what I was praying about and what I was not praying about.

And, I figured out that what I was actually doing was trusting.

Trusting that I didn't need to tell God what to do or how to do it.
Trusting that He was there and would take care of everything.
I really didn't need to say "please take care of them and send the right people and guide the doctor..." and on and on and on.
I could think of lots to say...believe me. And all those words...for me...bring seeds of worry.
This quiet trust brought so much peace.

I was trusting them to Him. And trusting Him to them.
I was trusting with them. And I am sure for them at times.

I am sure that this is exactly what some people are doing when they say they are praying. But I am also sure that many prayers are not trust but worry. Then there are the prayers of ordering and begging and cajoling and micro-managing....And that is ok. He can handle all that.
I just don't want to do that any more. I want a new word.

So this is what I am going to say when the moment calls for me to use the "p" word.
"I will trust God with you." "I will trust God for you." "Let's trust God together for this."

If you can forgive my arrogance and ignore any thoughts that I am judging your theology (which I am not) can you give me your opinion on this new term?
What does it say to you?
I am really interested to know.

3 comments:

  1. Just popped over because your halloween post was linked (by Randomly Chad, I think) and stayed for a longer look.

    "I will trust God with you." "I will trust God for you." "Let's trust God together for this." - I think these are perfect terms to use. If we really trusted God to be God, then our prayers would be different.

    Though my praying can be different at different times - warfare when needed, conversation, trying to get things right in my head, and sometimes following Jehoshaphat's guidelines (God, this is who you are, this is what you have done, this is the problem, please help).

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  2. Hey Michelle! Thanks for stopping by.
    Prayer is different at different times isn't it?!
    I am really glad Papa can handle it in all forms or I'd be sunk cuz sometimes all my big thoughts go out the door and I just pray "please please please ohhh please" then get angry when He says no. ;-/
    I just want to trust more.

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  3. Echoing Michelle, realizing that we do, indeed, come to Him differently in different times. I love the way Philippians 4:6 has helped me with my prayers. Thought-provoking post. Thank you.

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