I am EXCITED about dancing before the Lord.
I am aware (only recently) that it is not about me.
It is not about me...or my freedom...or my relationship with the Lord God OR
His people. (see that can be a big one!)
My walk with the Lord is not now and never will be based on my ability or inability to dance before Him in the assembly.
I am not on display...I do not have to set a good example...I do not even have to
have a good attitude about it...I can just be.
And let whatever come.
I can enter that room and watch and wait...and when
He ushers in the dance I can rest in the presence of the Lord.
I can rest and not worry about what you might think of me
(cuz that is something that I might think about) I can listen for the Lord.
I might be so moved by the
freedom of the dance
that I cannot help myself...I may rush in like a thirsty traveler into a cool stream...
I may lose myself in the
of the invitation of my lover to dance alone with him...
I may feel the
of dancing in the Glory of the Lord with my sisters...
or I may feel belligerent...I may feel stubborn...I may feel shy...I may feel inadequate...
I might have the strength to battle...or may only crumple and weep.
I may feel a nothing...just not a time for me to dance.
It is strange...because I am very new at knowing what I want.
And in this situation I can hear Him asking..."what do you want to do honey?"
I used to think it was all about the order..."do this now ".
And I would do it.
Because I loved Him. Because I was scared not to.
Because I wanted to be a good girl and please Him.
So in my fear I would beg Him for an order. A sign.
Then I would step out.
And it would terrify me...but it would feel so good too.
But I would need that order every time.
Then, when the Lord really kissed me with freedom...I was in a worship setting and I felt something...not a word from the Lord. Something in my heart.
I WANTED to dance.
Actually, first I wanted to run. So I did.
I grabbed a scarf (one of the dancers big flowy scarves)...and I begin to run
in circles around the auditorium. I felt like a little kid. It was really fun!
Now don't think for one instant that I forgot
about everyone around...I still wondered what they were thinking...yuk...but
somehow it just didn't matter...just wasn't a big deal...I didn't care what they thought!)
Then after a few rounds...and me praying that I didn't
have a heart attack because frankly I could not remember the last time I
had run that far...after a few rounds I stopped up at the
front...FRONT...in front of all those people...and I danced. Because I wanted to.
Because I felt the freedom to go sit if I wanted.
But I didn't want to.
I wanted to stand right there,
fully aware of how foolish I might look...and dance.
So I did.
It became as simple as that. I just did it.
Then after a while I sat down.
I danced. I sat down. And here is the freedom
part...not just for me...
He loved that I danced for Him.
I could feel His pleasure.
But I knew that He would have loved me none the less if I had sat the entire time.
He didn't love me more than all the other people in that room.
He didn't see me as more special because I risked something.
He just loved me. And He smiled on me.
And He was pleased with me.
And that...is what freedom feels like. I pray that for you!!
Not that I have it all hooked up. I don't feel the freedom all the time...
but I am learning what it feels like.
I am learning that I want to live THERE!!
I pray for my friends that they will encounter the
Spirit of Freedom that will engage them and get their attention.
I pray that they will taste that sweetness of the Lord that frees
them to know what they want.
I pray that many will know for the first time the freedom of choice in the Lord.
He came to free us to choose!!
He wants us to want HIM!
He wants US!!
That is the turning point for me...the freedom to choose!
I had been living a lovely glorious life but still a false one.
I was serving the Lord.
I was finding joy. I was serving to the best of my ability.
I was doing all that I needed to...but MOSTLY it was based on requirement.
Because I "knew" it was needed and expected of me.
I am amazed at how good that still all felt.
Because He is good. And serving Him is a pleasure and an honor.
But it was not what He wanted for me. It is not what He wants from us.
Because that still makes us slaves.
And that makes Him so sad.
When I dance...it wont be as a slave girl.
I won't wear a veil and wonder if my performance is pleasing.
I will dance in the delight of my Lover.
I will know that my moves captivate Him as no other.
I will know that my presence stirs a place in His heart that He reserves just for me!
I will dance like a child in the sparkle of her daddy's eye.
My moves will make Him giggle with delight as He marvels at His
creation...as He marvels at what He brought forth from His own self.
I will look at Him and see His eyes glisten because He is so touched that I honored
Him enough to want to dance for Him.
I will dance for Him as He dances for me.
He dances for me!
And when He twirls around He catches me eye and He holds out His hands.
He asks me to come dance with Him.
He asks me to choose.
I have a choice.
He gives me a choice.
I will dance because I love Him...because I want to.
And He will be pleased....because He is.
I might dance at your party...I do love to dance.
Pray for more freedom.
A freedom wild enough to challenge our complacency.
A freedom extravagant enough to break through our hesitation.
A freedom loud enough to shout through the noise of all that we have been taught.
May the sticky glory of the Lord fall on you as you
seek Him today!!
(this from the mouth of my youngest son who walks around the
"Here comes the sticky glory ory Halaylula He rains.")