IT'S SO EASY!!
I heard the words come out of my mouth and I felt the swell in my spirit as my mind began that flippy thing where a thousand for-instances and would be scenarios played leap frog through my heart.
We were talking about the why's and wherefore's of God and feeling the frustration that comes with the not knowing. Not knowing if you are right or wrong. Not knowing if where you are is ok especially compared to where you used to be. Not knowing if the people that you loved and trusted spoon fed you a load of crap or if you just see them as a bunch of yah-yah's now because you reject the you that used to open up and say ahhhh.
I sighed as I thought about how the only way to shut the stupid mouth of the deceiver is to agree to give up.
Silly as that sounds...just wrap up your angst in a technicolor bow and give it to Papa.
"Here ya go." plop.
"I'm not gonna think about this anymore."
I swear it worked.
So I sat there in the moment of realization...easy....it's that easy....woah.
it is so easy.
Do you know what this means?
If I can take all my not knowing and just not think about it anymore....
if I can forget about being right...
if I can forget about....being...wrong...ugh...
if I can forget about working harder at it
or better yet
if I can forget about all of it every last bit of it and just hand it back to Papa...
I don't know if you know how happy this makes me.
I feel pretty sure that I understand how many people there are out there that can smile and nod and tell me "yes, honey...we know" as they crack open their holy scriptures and point to here and here and here..."we know".
that's not what I am talking about.
See, I thought about posting a thing on FB...
where I would just say "It's so EASY!"
and people would comment and there would be this discussion where I might try and explain what I meant and then they would cover me up with good words and exhortations
But I can't.
Cuz see...it just doesn't work like that.
You just have to know it. And I wish you did and hope you do.
This is so easy that it cannot be described it a devotional thought. Not in scripture. Not in quiet time or accountability not even in worship.
This is just.
(not just as in righteous but just as in nothing else...just)
And the more I think about it the more I feel the slants leaning in, pressing down, coming around to the side all sneaky like...
you gotta do
don't forget to
that's all well and good but
and then a list
But then I breath. And the breath I feel is sweet. It fills my lungs and my head swoons with the largeness of the thought. The sheer amount of oxygen it brings.
Jesus is so easy.
If you can forget all you ever knew. All you have ever been "taught".
And that is not a requirement. It is just what makes it easier for me.
I think it really is all the things that you don't have to do that makes it so giggly good.
You get to get in any position you want.
Quiet or loud.
Active or still.
Thinking or not.
You don't have to do a special thing. But you can if you want to.
See...nothing to finish that sentence.
And that's how easy it is.
For admissions sake I will say here that I am thinking of yokes. He talks about that.
But I am not putting that on you. You can take it up with Him if you want.
I realize how ambiguous I am being. And honestly I am not trying to. It is only that this is so big. So encompassing. It makes perfect sense and none at all.
(which I find to be true of most of the things of God)
I guess I am talking about freedom. I am talking about out of the box throw your hat in the air get out of jail free all your worldly debts paid off all expense paid trip to....wherever your heart desires.
And it requires nothing of you.
Which is not to say that you won't find yourself doing things...but because you get to...not cuz you have to.
Look, I have had my heart-fill of the cost of salvation. I have had the church and the deceiver make me aware of every cent paid for my soul. I have laid on the ground sullied and unworthy and squashed by the weight of all the things that needed doing.
All I wanted to do was love Him. But the weight of the to-do's was too much. I couldn't get up.
Right and wrong are very heavy. Dead weight.
They forgot to tell me that I didn't have to listen.
Good-GOD! (and I am not swearing when I say it)
I didn't have to listen? I didn't have to do? None of that was required of me to get Him?
If you hear me and this makes an ounce of sense please believe that I am as shocked as you are.
Because I had heard the words before but they always had a ps...
and now they don't.
no experience necessary.
no requirements at all.
As we finished our talking I felt myself saying
"isn't it so ironic that the biggest battle you will face in your freedom is the fight against requirements."