let it roll off your tongue...

Hello girls and boys!!! It has been such a long time since we talked. I hope you are still hanging around. Maybe this will be the beginning of some more frequenter postings.
(don't hold yer breath)

Here is a video of  some things I think and feel on the subject of speaking in tongues.
Some of my girls and I were discussing some of the weirder things we had seen and heard of in various churches.
I believe "Wackadoo" is the word we used. We  burned up the keyboards and cell phones discussing this and that but when we got to the subject of speaking in tongues I felt like I had more to say than a cellphone keyboard could handle. (like I have said before, but still manage to crack myself up with..."my cellphone autocorrect, she drinks".)
Anyway, I wanted more than written words could convey so I hit that little "live" video button and bam...here I am.
I like this video format. It gives you a little bit of my "flavor" instead of just the sometimes unforgiving black and white of the written word. This is the full color version of me...live and unedited.

The video is about 20 minutes long. I hope you enjoy it. Discuss amungst yaselves.

Illustrations

I want to introduce you to someone.
Her name is Ruth.
She is an artist. She is a teacher. She is a student of beautiful.

When Ruth asked for short stories to which she could add illustration I jumped.
Leaped.
Both hands shooting up in the air...
                                                        "ME! I have one! Pick mine!!"


She did.

My story is a summertime story about my mamma when she was a wee lass. Ruth's illustration takes that warm feeling of a summer day and slathers it with honey.
Warm and sweet.

I hope you enjoy my story and Ruth's beautiful illustration.
Please do yourself  a favor and run, leap, cartwheel over to Ruth's house to see more of her work.
                         click here...       
                                    Ruth Meharg...Artist, Illustrator and Lover of Beauty
                                     
Pony Rides

She couldn’t have been more than nine. Just a little slip of a thing with chocolate braids and scuffed knees. We cannot know for sure if she was sweet but her pictures show her smilingly cute. It is probably safe to assume a certain measure of sugar as all the little bees came buzzing….

Her family loved to camp. Yosemite was the place to be in 1940. Bring the family to the wilds of nature. Lots of families joined in. Campfires and hiking and fishing and swimming. And pony rides.

If you had the money. She didn’t. Her daddy was a preacher and with the title came nothing. No big salary. If you were a traveling preacher you got your dinner provided after meeting. Maybe a bag of apples to take home. Always there was enough food but not much else.
Poor for the Lord. Nothing extra. Certainly not pony rides.

She never even asked. It was enough for her to watch the ponies. She would lean on the fence and smile and wave as each pony clopped by her. She didn’t wave to the riders. Not because she was jealous. No, the riders didn’t even matter. All she could see were the ponies. She waved to them and smiled friendship smiles into their beautiful faces. Every so often a pony would toss his head and she felt honored by his acknowledgement of her. His soft eyes would reflect her admiration. Her heart would swell again with every pass. They shared that bond that little girls and ponies share. They understood each other. Friendship and devotion. And that was enough.

Sometimes she would see an empty saddle and there is where she would dream. She’d sigh as she watched that pony trot all the way around the circle. This was her ride. Her time to believe all the little girl longings for freedom. She could imagine the wind in her hair as she floated through the air on her noble steed. She knew without a doubt that life was best when lived atop a pony. She would watch and hardly dare to blink. And she would smile and sigh again.

If given the chance, she would stand this way for hours. Her friends always knew where to find her. They looked for her there when their camp chores were done and it was time to play. They liked playing with her. She was quick to smile and always ready for a laugh. Not too prissy. One of the boys except for the braids. She could climb trees quicker than a squirrel. Probably because she was so little. She could skip rocks and catch bugs. And she could belch. Oh, she was fun.

The boys would gather round her as she stood beside the pony pen. She would grin at them as they ran up with their dust cloud billowing around them. She enjoyed their rowdy camaraderie. A few more minutes, boys. Just a few more minutes. They knew that they could tease her away but they didn’t usually have the heart. If they waited just a bit the ride would shut down to give the ponies a rest and then she would wholeheartedly join their camp games. So they did wait. All arms and legs threaded through the bars of the fence. Shoelaces dangling while feet swung back and forth and back and forth. One would inevitably sit on top of the fence and would inevitably, but of course accidentally, get pushed off. They would tussle and they would wait for her. She was worth it.

She had come to expect these gatherings. Wherever she was, she was not alone for long. That pleased her. She liked sharing her happiness with her friends. She knew they liked the ponies. Clapping and whistling, the boys would take turns standing beside her to point out their favorite pony or to giggle at some rider. A pleasant daily routine.

It took her by surprise the day that no one came to join her beside her ponies. She wondered where they had gotten to. Oh well. She missed them but was quite content to stay right here.
They weren’t far away. Those boys. The thing she didn’t know was that they were all gathered without her. Clustered back amongst the trees just out of sight, they whispered as they offered up their grubby paws and clinked their coins together in one happy little pile. They had been planning this all morning long. Nobody knowing or caring who first had thought the thought. They put together what each one had to please their friend. Ten cents. All counted up. Just the right amount for one pony ride. Exactly enough to bring a smile.

It must have been funny to see them trudging up behind her. Not one boisterous group but a bashful line of fellows not quite sure what to do with their grins. A tap on her shoulder startles her. She didn’t even know they were there. She turns around a little puzzled but soon enough she sees why they are acting all so strange. They give their gift without a word and silently stand guard as she smiles and steps through the gate.

She remembered that gift for the rest of her life. Each time told reliving the thoughtfulness of her sweet companions. They waved to her from the fence. And hollered. And clapped. Her sweetness rubbing off on them. Their sweetness impacting her, forever.

                                                           Honey in Hand by Ruth Meharg

Purchase this print and others in her shop.

30 day people challenge - me

 Ahhh...we have come full circle.
I started this challenge with a pull from my blog archives. A completely narcissistic tongue in cheek maybe a little bit true poem about moi.
Now we end with a post about me. Karma.
(kinda wishing I hadn't already used that poem.)

If you read this blog journal at all then you know me. I am a glorious mess! Nah, that sounds too southern "bless her heart". That is so not me.
I am not self deprecating or humble or obtuse.
I lean more towards arrogant and aware of my awesome.
At the same time tho, I am fully aware that I am not all that. I am just all and none. Me.
I am actually just a regular person in every way. I like to think of myself as unique...and I do know that there is no one like me exactly but I am also so very very regular.
There are people like me. I find them sometimes and it makes my heart so happy when I do.
I am not alone.
I am known and understood.
I do not have to have exacts in order to be part of the group that shares my weird.

I was raised to believe that I must become nothing to honor my creator. I no longer believe that. Not for myself. Not for you.
I was created to be full of myself. Truly! I was made to be aware of the beauty placed inside of my self. I was created to love that place inside of me. I was created to love that place inside of you!
I have come to realize that it is alllll about me. And that it doesn't stop there. It doesn't stop there because when you come to the place that you love you and see you and appreciate you ...you find that you also love  and see and appreciate the people around you.
Funny thing...Jesus said "you love me because I first loved you".
He also said "love your neighbor as yourself".

Is it possible that I love you better when I love myself? And that I love you because I first loved me?

That sounds far reaching and certainly far preaching. I don't mean it that way.
I am just sounding off about me.
I am learning not to be scared of myself. In that journey I am finding that less afraid I become the more loving I become.

Tis a puzzle.

I am done here. I wrote the things all month long and I am done.
I hope you liked our little challenge.


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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - bingo

 Tinkerbell.

Somewhere inside me a tiny child resides. She loves to think of fairies creating and sustaining all of nature. The boring, grossly religious "grown up" still whispers that fairies are a little bit pagan.
Hogwash.
Fairies do not in any way diminish the thought of God.
What a small deity He would be if He could not deal with the fanciful imaginings of life.
My heart delights in the thought that creatures could exist that paint the flowers and create the wind.
What if fairies came in all sizes? What if the tiny ones keep the pollen and the giant ones shoot the arrows of lightning? What if microscopic fairies danced on the breezes created by the wings of fairie creatures so large that they cannot be seen at all?

What if fairies and angels are the same thing?
I like this thought. A lot.

Disney did a really good job playing with the ideas of fairies and their world. Since I have a little girl I am smack dab in the middle of fairie world.
I love it.

I just wish I had some fairie dust.


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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
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30 day people challenge - historical figure

I cannot stinkin believe that I am in the home stretch of this challenge and I can't brain enough to think of an interesting historical figure. I even googled "random historical figure" because you would be surprised what Uncle Google knows. There was this personality test and I took it to see which historical figure fit me best.
Leonardo.
Not the turtle...the inventor/artist guy.
Bow. Ring. 
Since my brain is tired I am afraid that writing about any historical figure is going to sound like a 5th period essay assignment. I must not let this stop me.
I am just going to free associate for a minute to see who comes up and what things I know, think I know, learned in college, heard from my teenagers...6 degrees to Kevin Bacon.
Bear with me.

Genghis Khan- conqueror -something like 87% of the worlds population shares his genetic material.
Marie Antoinette- french empress? - lived in excess while her people suffered.
Bonaparte.- French
Benedict Arnold- not french but for some reason I always think he is at first thought
Benedict Cumberbatch - because obviously
Carlie Simon- why? this must be some subconscious connecting mechanism at work
Simon Legree- Claim to fame from Rogers and Hammerstein's, The King and I
George Washington- cherry trees and bad teeth
Abraham Lincoln- February birthday and referenced in The King and I
Some guy that crossed the Alps with elephants (Hanibal)- Again with the King and I
Erik the Red- viking, great beard, explorer and conqueror
Pocahontis - thinking about the New World
Lewis and Clark- more explorers - men needing directions - women baling them out
Clark Griswald -stupid men needing help
Cleopatra - powerful women
Charlie Chaplin - brain blip
that's it. That's all I got.
I cannot explain the train of thought.

I love history. I have never loved history assignments so my mind is rebelling.
I will end with this...history seems to be so subjective that I tend to sit in suspect. This kinda steals the fun from it for me. What I prefer is historical fiction. I like it when a good writer takes a character and fleshes out the times and dates with emotions and reactions. I enjoy the what-ifs. I believe that the best way to understand history is to put yourself into the pages of time and live those moments with the characters at play.

Some time later I may revisit this topic and flesh out some historical...probably biblical...scenario.
For now, please accept my lameness and lets move on.

----------------------------------------------
30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - online friend

This is a little bit of a cheater. I do actually know this person in real life but I never get to spend time with her because Colorado and Texas refuse to be close together. 
We met in college. She was a freshman twerp. I was an upperclass badass with a fiance. We didn't really run in the same circles.
My loss.
We got done with college and went our separate ways to live life. It wasn't until 20 something years later that we reconnected online.
Facebook is a good tool for re-connection.
I found her in a random comment.
I think she mentioned something about her non-traditional doctor or maybe her spirit-filled church experience?? Whatever it was, it caused me to send her a private message where I layed  out my heart in a very non-committal way and asked her some question or other to see if it was safe to proceed with conversation.
That is always so scary, that first reach out. Alcohol would make it so much easier.
Does anyone but me feel the pain of sending a message that is not answered?
The agony.
( could be inserted here that blogging with no reply on the end is the same kind of torture. hint. hint.)

She answered.
I don't remember it feeling painful in those first rounds of friend discovery. She is good like that.
We seemed to click right off. If either one of us was bluffing I don't know or remember.
I don't really understand how two people with such different lives could think so much alike.

She is my friend. I run to her for encouragement and for painful truths I do not want to hear. We talk long about the scary places where our hearts seem alone and we find companionship even when we do not share that particular dark alley. Together we explore the high mountains of theory and explode into the Eureka! moments as we begin to really understand how much we have never understood.
We are friends.
I thank the internet for this connection. Maybe snail mail could forge a friendship like this but it is doubtful. We seem to need our real time bounce off each others heart and mind. A growing of thought that happens as fast as our fingers can type. It works.
Maybe it would not work the same face to face. Maybe we would not have the time we devote to our click-talking. I can type while all the world is screaming around me. My family life would not really be conducive to full-day coffee meetings like we share over the interwebs.
Still, it would be nice to be neighbors in the borrow a cup of sugar sense.
Until that happens I will be content with my online friendship. It means so very much to me.

Thank you for being my friend. You know who you are.
I treasure you.



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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - coworker

I work at home. My home is my work. My children are my subordinates. I have no boss but me.
I guess that makes my husband my coworker.
Hmmmm.....

Let me tell you about my coworker.

He never washes his coffee cup.
He has been known to eat my lunch out of the fridge.
He does his projects in his own sweet time and will not be swayed by promises of bonus.
He gets to work when he pleases and takes long lunches as he sees fit.
He refuses to do some of the chores and assignments set out by the life boss.
He sasses.
He uses his expense account for personal gain.
He sexually harasses me on a regular basis.

If he weren't so dang cute he'd probably get fired.

My coworker. I love him. 


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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - alien

I felt a little panicked when I saw the topic for this post. I might have sent some not nice thoughts in the general direction of our list maker.
Alien?
Really?
Throwing caution to the wind I mentioned my writing task to my minion crew at dinner. I told them it was hard. Actually, I think I said "haaaard" in a whiney voice just like the one I tell them to never make. I mostly complained because there was just not enough ways to put interesting words onto my favorite alien. They just blinked at me.
My problem was that I was thinking too small. They helped me broaden my perspective.

The only alien I could think of was Marvin.

What can you say about Marvin?
Ineffectual little guy wailing about the lack of an earth-shattering-kaboom.
See...not much to say.

My children told me that was a stupid idea and gave me some other suggestions.

In no particular order...
The Alien in Alien
Any from the Star Wars or Trek series
My Favorite Martian
Men in Black
Signs
Close Encounters
Dr. Who
Mork from Ork
E.T.
there are lots of them.

I sighed. Now the job was too big. How could I possibly pick just one?
I sat and thought and then....
Edgar.

He is my favorite. Maybe it is just because I can do a killer impression.
Doesn't matter. The heart knows what it wants.
I love you Edgar.

Need. more. sugar.

------------------------------------------------
30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
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30 day people challenge - author

My favorite author is C.S.Lewis.
The only books of his that I have read are The Chronicles of Narnia.
He is very well respected for his many books but I know nothing of this.

I only know Aslan and Peter and Susan and Lucy and Edmond.
I only know that Mr. Lewis changed my view of God and time and space and my relationship to all of everything.

Evidently, Mr. Lewis was writing for his granddaughter Lucy. His inscription is sweet and loving and has always struck me as an example of wisdom packing words with meaning that will only be revealed with time.

My Dear Lucy,
        I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand a word you say but I shall still be
        your affectionate Godfather,”

I think that C.S. Lewis understood that Lucy would someday come back to appreciate her grandfather's story. I think that he knew she would need time and that time would reveal new worlds of understanding to her heart and mind.  I think that his story held layers of meaning that he could only barely understand himself.  I think he was trying to explain to her the wonder that he had seen and known and that he was patient enough to let it come and not rush it.
I think that Lucy was a lucky girl.

My copies of Narnia are worn from reading. They sit on my shelf in my room where I can guard them from harm. My children are allowed to read them...carefully. (I actually bought them a set so they would leave mine alone.) I have probably read these books 100 times as there was a time in my life when I would read the series through and then begin at the beginning for an unending round of Narnia.

I believe that heaven looks like Narnia.
With these words from The Last Battle my heart swells...

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!”

Thank you Mr. Lewis.



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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
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30 day people challenge - favorite actress

When I was a child my mom could look at the opening credits of an old movie and boldly declare "Oh this is going to be a good one."

She had the ability to look at the list of actors and know if the movie was going to be worth watching.
I thought she had some kind of magical powers.

I think that super-power must have only been effective for movies made in the golden age of Hollywood. Back in the golden days it felt like studios cared about their "image."  They had their stable of actors and if their top string players were cast then the movie was going to be good.

Please do not slam me if I am just way wrong here. Honestly I don't care. This is just how it appears to me.
Maybe it was always this way but it seems like today there is a lot of "acting" going on where I swear the actor must be seriously in debt to his booky or trying to help his cousin or something.
Case in point...When bad films happen to good actors.

 My point...you can't always tell if a movie nowdays is going to be good just by who is acting in it.
Except for this actress. She is amazing. Powerful. Full of pith and deep emotion.
If she is in the movie you know it is going to showcase her professionalism. You are going to be in for a real treat.

She is wonderful.


Maybe this actress has some doggers on her list but I haven't seen one.

Ok.Ok. there is this...

and, well, there is also this...

But who cares??!!!

I still think she is wonderful.

You know what, I am not going to bore you with listing her more serious roles. I just don't care.
She has depth, she is versatile. Blah blah blah.

She can do this...

Ahhh Meryl.

Thank you.

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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
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30 day people challenge - favorite actor

 Tom Hanks.
I've loved him since Bosom Buddies.

I love how he becomes the character he is playing instead of playing the character as Tom Hanks.
I love how you see his emotion and you feel his emotion at the same time.
I love that he is outrageous in his delivery. Not overacting, just being real.
Over the top maybe but real nonetheless.
      
When he made fire...I. made fire.

When he got frustrated...yeah.

When he was sad...I cried.

And when he was happy...I wept.

I haven't seen every Tom Hanks movie. This needs to be rectified forthwith.



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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - musician/band

If you ask me who my favorite musician/band is I will say, "Huey Lewis and the News" every time.
If you ask me why, I will say,"duh".
If you do not agree with me then we probably should no longer try to be friends.

The thing I love about Huey...his big band sound.  I love that his songs have a big sound and crescendo in all the right places. I love how I can picture the brass section standing up to deliver a big punch.I love that sound.

I love how you can hear his lyrics. Understand them. They tell a story. 
They make you laugh. They bring you in.

I love how his songs pick a feeling and recognize the universality of that emotion. We all get to share.

"Don't need no credit card to ride this train."

Huey Lewis. He's my favorite.



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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - artist

I love me some good art.
That said, I simply do not have a favorite artist. I appreciate all kinds of art. This is not to say I appreciate all "art". Just many varieties. Mostly, I appreciate all kinds of artists.

My favorite artist is the sincere heart just letting it all hang out.

I do not know that you can judge art and talent with the same scales. If you try to put parameters on art it becomes regulated and uptight. You get followers who rapidly become disciples and as the call to fame begins to whisper you sell your artistic soul for a few schmancy reviews and a corner in a marble hall.
People dissecting your inner turmoil. You getting paid to put your crazy on display. Worse, people deciding which of your marbles are worthy of a cocktail party because your loony "speaks" to them.
Harumph.
Actually tho, I think I would like to be an art critic. (If I could remain anonymous and get paid a bunch of money) It would be fun to critique things that people call art and throw around words like existential and au courant.

I could go to fancy parties  stay home in my jammies and surf the interwebs for the newest and brightest and then I could rip them up oneside and down the other for the pretentious posturing and juvenile approach. Or...and this is the fun part...I could praise all the little guys that no one looks twice at and raise their stock by a thousand percent (while they are still living) just because they caught my fancy.
Would I enjoy pointing fingers and snickering or praising just because I feel like it?
Have we met?
I would revel in my power.

I think everybody (including me) just needs to calm down and see art for what it is...expression.
I think that art is just expression. Therefore artists are just people expressing themselves. Most of the art I have seen in modern art exhibits reeks of crazy. Skill does not necessarily come into play.
It just seems like the artist burped up a hairball and hung it on the wall.
I do not believe there has to be "talent" involved in art. Just crazy large kahunahs.

 Is there talent in this?

Isn't it wonderful?!

I believe that no sane person ever becomes an artist. 
This statement does not in any way disparage my love for artists in general.
You have to release your tight hold on "reality"and "propriety" if you want to truly express the things going on inside you.
I admire the ones that can get all that out there.

My favorite artist is the one that just is. No rules. Just heart.


-----------------------------------------------------------
30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - fictional movie character

 I suppose it is no surprise that my favorite movie character, Joe, comes directly from the scenes in my favorite movie.
Joe vs The Volcano

Joe is a man that is just fed up with life. His job sucks. His private life is non-existent. His spirit is gasping for air. Finally, his body seems to just give up.
Braincloud.
The diagnosis is grim and terminal.
There is nothing left to do but die.

Joe is given an option. He can die alone and miserable or he can make his last days worth something.
He is offered the use of a no-limit charge account to use however he pleases as long as he makes it to a remote island to offer himself up for sacrifice to appease the volcano God before time runs out.

Of course Joe chooses to go out with a bang. (click the link!!!! click it!!)

What we see is a transformation of Joe. He stops living a life that is unending in its doldrums. He begins living his life with the knowledge that each moment he has is a gift to be treasured.
It seems like embracing his finality gave him the power to recreate and to enjoy his present reality.

I love Joe because he is so very real. He crushes my heart with his tragedy but then he swells my heart to bursting with his awakening.
He begins a journey of living as he travels closer and closer to his impending doom.

You will have to watch the movie to see what happens. I will only tell you that Joe reaches a new level of wonder with each obstacle he faces. (click the link!)

One word of warning...this movie is quirky and existential. This is not a "christian movie" that will tell you all the things you should do to get your life right with God and your spouse and your local football team. If you want that then you need to go find something made by Kirk Cameron.

This movie is about finding yourself. It is also about losing yourself and also about loosing yourself.

I will end with my favorite quote of all time. Also from this movie.

"I have no response to that."  (and again...click the link)

Please do yourself a favor and watch this movie. Let your spirit watch and know and understand even if your brains don't really get it.

Joe is my hero.








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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - fictional character in a book

There is a set of books that I just adore. They are called Tales of the Kingdom.
They are allegorical stories of the Kingdom.
They follow a child named Scarboy and we follow along...
" as Scarboy and his friends boldly follow the one True King to overcome the evil Enchanter and his tenacious hold on the oppressed residents of Enchanted City."

There is one character in this book that stands out beyond the others.
His name is Ranger. His name is also Caretaker.
Caretaker is the one who has created and cares for the beautiful park where Scarboy finds refuge.
At times, Caretaker is seen as Ranger, the defender of the park and all who dwell within.

Caretaker swells my heart. He is described as laughing as he breathes life into the flowers that dance around him. His heart is all about caring for every thing that needs care. He jingles as he walks because of the many tools he caries as he strolls along doing the things that need to be done. He knows when his world is in disarray and he calls on those who dwell in his park to come to his aid to assist and protect anyone in need.
Caretaker lives within the gentle persona of a kindly old gardener until...
Until the need comes that reveals Ranger.

Ranger is the mighty arm of power in the beautiful park. Ranger is strong and able to defend all in need. He is the one to call on when danger is near and hearts are crying in terror. Ranger is revealed through the fire. Ranger summons his warriors from among the peaceful dwellers of the park and through fire reveals their awesome power.
Ranger lives inside of caretaker as caretaker lives inside of him.

The two never contradict each other but work in unity to restore peace and bring healing to every need.

When I first encountered Caretaker and Ranger I felt my heart swell with an understanding of God that I never had felt before. He has changed my perspective on everything.

Please read these books. I cannot give you words that adequately describe their goodness.


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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - mentor

A mentor is someone who teaches you something.
I will now list my mentors with the things in which they mentor me.

My parents - unconditional love
Kendall - patience
Andi - honesty
Matthew - steadfastness
Joshua - pursuit
Ethan - humor
Mercy - thankfulness
Mary - planning
Kimberly - overcoming
Laurie - schooling
Kevin - reality
Marlys - bravery
Niki - authenticity
Pam - looking ahead
Pat - the here and now

They teach. I learn.



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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - mentoree

There was a time when I believed that I had no "real" influence. When I went to church I found my heart burdened by the ideals of mentoring. (also by the terms discipling and accountability but that is another post entirely) Church preached a world where you looked up to someone and learned from them and where you had your group of padowans in training. This was only good and right.
I felt like I wasn't holding up "kingdom values" because I did not have someone lower than me on the evolutionary religious journey. I was a big failure.

I cringe when I even use the word mentor. Actually, I don't use the word mentor. I prefer rabbi.
I kid.
Honestly tho, mentoring is not my schtick.
I am a mom. I am a teacher. I am a friend. I am a guide. I am a companion.
I have kids. They are my 24/7 mentorees. Nah, minions is more like it.
I am the big evil scientist. Dr. Devious. Mama Maleficent.
They do my bidding.
I have trained them well.
cue evil laughter.


Seriously, I have taught my children to do everything from wiping the dishes to wiping their own behind parts. My job has never been so much about taking care of them as it has been about training them to care for themselves.
If I know how to do something, I teach them how to do it. 
If they need something done and are capable of it, I make sure they know how to go about it.
I teach them to fish. (not literally)

As they have progressed in this growing up journey my job has changed a little bit. Sure, I still have to instruct them on the basics of chores and communal living but now we are more into the realm of interpersonal dynamics.
Also known as how to deal with the real world and not make people want to knock your block off while also keeping yourself from decapitating them.
I am trying to teach them to be nice and respectful and conscientious and courteous and assertive and humble and loving.
You might think I should have already thought them these things. You would be right. They know how to do all these inside the bounds of our house and our rules.
Life outside our walls is not the same.
Those people do not always remember to speak with love and respect. Those people forget to apologize. Those people do not have our pristine habits of living as perfectly defined by me.
Those people are the real life everyday people in the neighborhood.
My current job is to teach my children how to walk amongst the human race and not be asshats.

I sincerely hope that you know that I do not consider my ways to be perfect. I have not taught my children all the pretty things and am now hoping that they enter the world and not be sullied.
No.
I have taught my children the things that I thought were right. Certainly the things that were for their best. Ok, maybe sometimes the things that were most convenient and did not alert cps.
Anyway, what I want now is for my kids to go out into the big world with love and acceptance in their hearts knowing that our ways are not universal....and that is ok.
I want no superiority complexes originating from our kitchen.
I want my children to be successful at living with others, not just at living with us.

I do not actively "mentor" my children. But only in the way that I do not actually use that term.
I hope my offspring have learned and are learning from me.
(I also hope that their counseling bills are not too expensive.)




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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - The POTUS

Subject today, The President of the United States. (take this sentence and compare it to my title for today. Ahhhh, now you get it.)

Everything I know about  the potus I learned from 11th grade government class and current episodes of Madame Secretary. Well, I guess that isn't exactly true.
I also learned a lot from Hollywood. I can tell you exactly what potus will do if/when we are attacked by aliens or threatened by large meteors.
Maybe there is not much more to say.
I am going to give you my sometimes ugly opinion of the potus. You can take this opinion straight to the bank and get nothing for it because opinions are cheap and easy. Add in a healthy portion of uneducated bias and you have something worth exactly zero. I don't really do politics.
I'll bet you can tell.
In my opinion, if you have reached the level of presidential candidate you have sold your soul to the devil in form of the political machine. This makes you untrustworthy mostly because you are naive enough to really believe that you can effect change once you sit in the oval office. If you are nice and decent then you are a pawn for the party. If you refuse to believe that you are a pawn then you are a cog twisting in your place as the machine goes round and round about you. The gods of political opinion run your career and since you have already sold your soul to get this far the only thing left to sacrifice is your secret cache of ideals. Those things you swear you will not compromise but find yourself offering up on the alter of the party line both to ensure the public's credence and your party's political good will.
I do not believe the potus has any real power in our country. Well, except the power to gum up the works. It seems that potus reigns on a throne of decisional ambiguity. His terms of service seem to be primarily centered around creating policy obnoxious enough to get everybody just upset enough to sustain the current news cycle.
Also, can I just say that if you are in the potus position (or aspire to such) and you believe that your marital indiscretions (past or present) are hidden from the press and public then you are the highest caliber of moron and should not be trusted to know the appropriate time to push any button besides the nurse call on your adjustable bed.
Now. Let me tell you how I really feel.
I feel that the potus must genuinely have the most difficult job in the world. You are looked upon to be the beacon of diplomacy and the watch tower of democracy. You carry the weight of a thousand wars upon your shoulders as you pivot among the nations at peace and in distress. You wade through countless hours of advice and entreaty knowing that whether or not you truly wield the power, the buck stops at the presidential seal. You are the yes man, and the no man, and the let's wait and see man that knows whatever you decide is thoroughly going to chap more than half of the hides involved. You can't please any of the people most of the time.
That must suck.
I do not know the true ins and outs of running a country. I am glad that there are people willing to do that horrifically difficult job. I am glad that there are potus aspirations among the hearts and minds of the politically elite. I hope that those who serve realize more their responsibility to decency than their commitment to power (or the powers that be).
I do not have a solution for my cynicism. Somewhere, deep down, I think I have a small belief that the system works somehow. Maybe I just want it to be true. Whatever, I am just really really grateful that the potus is not me.
I hope that my joy in not having to do that job overcomes my *ahem* negativity towards the ones who seem to be pulling it off.

Hail to the Chief.


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30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - challenger

I want to gush. I want you all to know the fantastic wonder that is my oldest born. My daughter.
There is no better word for her than challenge.
Challenge, as described by google dictionary is:
an objection or query as to the truth of something, often with an implicit demand for proof.

This. is. my. daughter.

When I saw the writing assignment for today I immediately thought of her. She has challenged me to be who I am since the day she was born. I decided to write about her and all the ways that she pushes me to be me...then I read the definition of the word challenge and my thoughts on the matter completely changed. Bloomed actually. While I was ready to illustrate specifics, I was not fully understanding just how much of a challenger she is. 
This girl is now and has always been a seeker of truth. Every question. Every stubborn defiance. Every decision has been about getting to the bottom of the truth of the situation. When she was so tiny I found that she did not simply ask "why?" She asked me to prove it. She could not seem to get dressed unless she knew the destination and the ramifications of going naked. She had a deep need to understand the timing of bed and the reasoning behind green beans.
"Because I said so" never ever worked.
I quickly learned  that life was going to be much simpler if I just offered up the why before she could ask it. My many words seemed insane but soothed her need to know. If I could explain it she was all on board.
That worked until she got to be about four. Then she started asking the hard questions. She started by asking me why I wore blush and mascara. The answers "so I can look pretty" or "to help me look younger" sounded so very lame. She could not find truth there. She asked me if I didn't like how I already looked. She did not accept my sighs as answers.
At five she asked me if the Apostle John could see himself when he saw the 12 apostles sitting around the heavenly throne.
Her teenage years brought questions about God. Oy. While she did not ask me this directly, I know that she squeezed her youth pastor by asking "if God is with us always, why do we beg him to be here when we pray?"
She wants to know why humans continue to kill animals for food. Do not attempt to answer her with scripture. Trust me here.
She wants to know who could possibly like that particular outfit and what would possess them to pay that price for it. 
She wants to know why people put faith in things that the church has taught when the church has been responsible for so much killing in the name of God.
She wants to know the exact reason I can mother my children with kindness on the days when she would like to whop all her siblings simultaneously upside the head.
She wants to know if souls can recirculate and if not, why? and can I prove it.
She wants to know why she still looks for and misses her twin that was lost in utero.
She wants to know. And her desire to know challenges me to be me.
Why?
Because she asks for truth. She demands it. When she feels like truth is not happening she calls it out. I am challenged each day to be as authentic as I can be because I know that she will call me on it if I am not. 
Am I afraid?
Heck yeah.
But I delight in her. I delight in her inability to accept the status quo. I delight in her piercing gaze and her thoughtful insight. I appreciate her willingness to push the edge of everything. She stretches the boundaries of convention in search of the reasons. 
Tradition is never enough. Because is a cop out. Acceptance without is question is  abominable...and stupid.

She challenges me, this girl. Every day.
May her search for truth continue as long as there is truth to challenge.


------------------------------------------------
30 day people challenge. Swing by and see what our other contributors are up to.

Don at donhillson.wordpress.com
Niki at nikinowell.wordpress.com
Beckie at free2b2much.blogspot.com
Tracy at countyroadchronicles.wordpress.com

It’s not too late to join us! Get the details here:
nikinowell.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/30-day-people-challenge/

30 day people challenge - beloved child

Hello pumpkin,

I am writing this note today to try and use words to explain the hugeness of my love for you. It won't work you know. Words refuse to mean all the things I know inside my heart about you. So, just let me try and hug your heart a little bit with these thoughts. Then we can snuggle up and not use words because that is better anyway.
I have loved you from the beginning of time. Before I ever even knew you. I know this because I tried to measure my love for you and it would not fit on any measuring stick in the entire universe.
It was too gigantic.
By the time you were born my love was about ready to explode my chest with yummy goodness. I held you for the first time and I knew in that moment that these arms were made to hold your preciousness. You were a squishy ball of delicious. I could not stop looking at you and wondering how I could have ever lived without knowing you.
I have loved watching you grow every day. You get a little bit bigger and you seem surprised when the things don't fit anymore. It seems like a mystery every time it happens. But I know that feeling of things getting bigger and bigger and bigger. That is my love for you, Chiquita. It keeps on growing. The thing is, you can never out grow this love I have. It will continue to grow with you, every day, forever.
I love your laugh. I love how you get so into the laughing that you squeal the sounds that only dogs can hear.  I love your evil mad scientist laugh and your howl of delight when you pound your brothers in a video game. I love your giggle when you play a joke. I love to laugh with you. Let's do it all the time.
I love your sense of style. I love how patterns become neutral background as you combine eye bursting combinations of color. I love how you ask for advise on an outfit but choose with your heart. I love how "look at me" is an adventure and it makes me smile because your fashion pairings truly show your joy.
I love your business ideas. Combination tea shop and art palace with massages while you wait. Nail salon that comes to the customer. Indoor lemonade and cookie stand. I am always hoping that some new customers will magically appear so that you can truly flex your artistic skills. Thank you for sharing your creativity with all of us.
I love your thankfulness. There is no-one in the world who is more thankful than you. Any small present is oohed and ahhed until I almost feel guilty that your gift came from the dollar store. I love that your heart says thank you. I love that you are thankful for time and for hugs and for the thoughts that never materialize but that you seem to be able to sense. I will tell you a secret, it makes me want to be more, give more, do more, just to see your delight.
I love your spice. Even tho I ask you to redirect it sometimes, I love how passionately you feel about everything. I love that you stand up to your brothers. I love that you have the best ideas ever, every single day. I love that you leap upon your daddy and hug him fiercely. I love that you watch every move and argue and continually learn from your sister. I love that you sass your grandpa in a way that only a dearly loved and appreciated granddaughter can. I hope that you never tame that tiger inside you, Baby Girl.
I look forward to sharing life with you at full speed.
My love for you is way too big to write down. The words simply cannot wrap around you the way my love does. Still, I hope you hear all this and feel all the love that is so so very much bigger than the world or time or space.
I hope you know that even tho you think you will someday outgrow the baby name you will always be my child.
Always. Always. Always.

I love you, my Little Petunia Sweetie Pie.
Always.